I leave you with this ditty--

The first time I was told I should get a blog....it was because I wrote the ditty below on someone's old blog....obviously....I found it amusing....because then I posted it on someone else's blog....and they told me I needed to get my own blog.....sooooo, either they thought they wanted to hear more from me, or they were kicking me out of their blog.....in a "get your own" sort of way.....in either case.....I continued to bother them both.....and NOW I AM GOING ON VACATION TO SEE THEM.....SO LONG SUCKA'S......yeah, um...see you when I get back.

Enjoy this, until then.

Well, I felt compelled to join you, Annie in your quest of hairy legs. I have succeeded, and have decided to have a go at a waxing. I have an appointment on Thursday.....she suggested I take some Tylenol, and a bottle of wine before I come in! I told her she was freaking me out, and she told me she was kidding, but I am not really sure she was.....ah, the price of beauty...I will let you know how the ordeal goes!

Waxing 101...The woman calls me this morning, to ask me to exfoliate for our tomorrow session, and incidentally, wanted me to be aware the session is expected to last about an hour and a half........what have I gotten myself into?

Alright.....so here is the low-down. I arrive for my appointment a couple of minutes early (what was I thinking?) and began to sweat, which I found to be most unpleasant! My visions of the woman who would be pulling my hair out by the ROOT....were getting uglier, and uglier. I thought perhaps she would have black hair pulled back into a ponytail, so tight she might resemble a face lift gone bad. She might also have one of those mountainous moles on the left side of her chin with 4 long black hairs protruding from it.....a bit long in the tooth, all dressed in a too tight white nurse suit, and black nursing shoes. Thankfully, I was pleasantly mistaken. She was adorable, which of course is also deceiving. Made me forget for a moment what I signed up for, she can't be this cute and torture me, can she? She was about 35, four months pregnant, glasses, mary janes, and an adorable maternity outfit, which sort of made her look like a belly dancer.She walked me back to our little room, which was painted in "ocean" colors (her wording) she asked if I would be most comfortable in my own grunders (my word) or did I want to wear her disposable grunders? I told her this was my first Rodeo, and I wasn't sure. She just laughed and tossed a package on the dentist chaise. It looked like a short white cigar, or a tampon.....hesitate....what to do....grab the package and open it. I unrolled my little package....and I indeed did laugh out loud. This was not underwear! This was a piece of gauze about a foot long, strung with a itty bit of elastic! Was she joking....what... I put them! She came into the room, as I lay on the dentist chair, covered in a sheet....the chair, not me.....as I was out there for all to see.....or at least for Miss Mary to see. I started to laugh uncontrollably, which I think may have frightened her, because she looked all around the room to see what was funny. Well, I told her I was taking one for the team, and reporting back to my friends blog from my experience.....now I had her nervous! Told me she was going to start at my ankles, and work her way up. She had me put my knee up, I suppose so I couldn't see anything, I felt her apply a thin coat of wax with a tongue depressor.....felt like she covered about half the area on the front part of my lower leg, from ankle to knee. She then said, "do you want me to warn you, or do you---RIIIIPPPPP!!!!!!!!! Holy Canoli....I guess go with the surprise, I guess that is what I choose.....I am certain I cursed in another language, though I am only fluent in English curse words, I am perdy, darn sure I said some sort of profanity! Then I started to giggle....as she continued to apply, and RIIIPPPP!!! I continued with an "Ohhh, then giggle" It was totally bizarre, it wasn't as if I was enjoying myself....because let me be very clear on this....it was not what I would classify as a good time. But I couldn't help but giggle afterwards. It was this crazy pain, then she would apply pressure to the spot she just ripped off, and I would giggle. I suppose because it no longer hurt, following the pressure, and I was slightly embarrassed, that I was going through the whole ordeal, of saying "ohhhh...." recalling to myself, I am in a small room, half naked, with a pregnant woman, and three crock pots of hot wax...Giggle...Giggle....It was the strangest feeling. Some areas were far more sensitive than others, for instance....ankles....not a good time.....backs of my knees....quite unpleasant.....bikini line.......NOT NICE! Overall.....two hours later.....Yes my dears, two hours later, don't know if it was just that I was removing a fur coat, or if that was average....she told me it was average for a first timer....She also assured me I was not "offensive" in any way. She says a lot of times, she doesn't even really think about what she is actually doing, but rather, just pleased when she has a really good pull....which by the way, calculates as, a really bad pull for me.....I was a bit surprised that I wasn't embarrassed, partly this occurred I think because, after the first pull, I figured she and I must be best friends if I didn't just punch her in the face for putting me through that, but rather, allowed her to continue. So....I think I am going to probably be asked to be her birthing partner, now that we are so close....after we were complete, she told me I would need to schedule an appointment in about a week for a touch up, being the hair grows in three different stages.....and she will do that for free....sounds like something she might have made up, just so she can see me again....what do you think?

Oh.....and by the way, no blood was shed, and I have never had legs this smooth, even minutes after shaving with a new razor! And I kept the disposable underwear for future amusement! ;)

If you would like a visual of my experience....here you go. Go ahead, click it....you'll like it.